As a young woman in her 20's I have come to understand the importance of having someone who has gone through life experiences, who has wisdom and lessons to share. I understand the need to want to make your own mistakes and learn from them however when I can avoid making mistakes why not avoid them.
I am extremely blessed and grateful to have my parents advise and mentor me with many issues in life, they have been the biggest influence in my life. Apart from God, my parents have contributed far much more than I could ask in me being the woman I am today and I thank God for them.
As well as having my parents I have had a few mentors in my life, all had a purpose and a season. From education, to religion, to business etc they have been there to provide advice and guidance.
It's really not easy finding the right person to speak to about certain issues in your life trust me I know that feeling. So that said I have come up with a 5 step guide to help you find the right mentor for what ever area in your life.
One thing to remember and keep in mind is that as you grow and evolve as a person so should your mentors. There is nothing wrong in having more than one mentor not everyone is good at everything, some may meet certain needs and not all. And the mentor is there to advice you and to not tell you what to do, as a human being you are responsible for your own actions.
That said lets get on with it:
1. Your area of need: Before even thinking of having a mentor, think about the areas of your life that you need help in, be specific. It's important for you to know your area of need so to make the relationship with your mentor very clear. This will help give direction and it puts you in charge of the relationship and gives focus.(I found making a SWOT analysis helps -a bit OTT but it helps)
2. Your Integrity: Before approaching someone and asking them to be your mentor, you need to be very clear and aware of your principles and values. Ask your self
- what is it that you stand for and believe?
- what will you not tolerate ?
This is very important as if you are going to some one for advice, you need to make sure they have the same values and principles as you.
3. Who are they : Now that you have established the first 2 points, you need to critically study the person you are thinking of approaching, have casual conversations with them, get to know them on a level without making your intention known.
Do your research! For example, a business mentor - look at their business, how they run it, how they treat their employees, how are they when it comes to planning and making time for people, their schedules, how do they handle failure as well as success, what do you admire most about them etc..
It's important to know whom you are trusting a specific area of your life with.
4. Your motives and their motives: Now you are ready to go in for the kill and approach your potential mentor. You have asked them and they have said yes, now before the relationship is fully established and set in stone its important that you make your motive for the relationship known and for you to understand their motive for wanting to mentor you. It allows you both to know where you stand with each other.
5. You are in Charge: Now that the relationship has been established, you have to understand that you are holding the button of the relationship. You have to take the lead and set the pace as they are there to cheer you on and advise you which way to go. Do not try to impress and hide things from your mentor, it defeats the purpose. You need to be honest so you get the best assistance you can possibly get.
Mentors are there to help and advise, ultimately it's your life, you only get back what you put in.
If you need someone to talk to you can email me: michiek@live.co.uk
Until the next one
Michelle
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